I Hoard Stuff On My Blog So That My House Isn’t Cluttered
I just want you all to know that my house does not look like this:
Anyone taking a passing glance at my blog home page may get the impression that I’m a serious hoarder. Five months in and I’m just grabbing any old shit I can lay my hands on now I’ve figured out how to use URL links in widgets. See my three blog awards?! I may have to transfer them to a page of their own soon, right next to my adorable Domino The Wonder Dog. No one puts cake in a corner though – my sweet blog award from Lord David Prosser really does deserve to be in the limelight.
For a while last month I did try to cut down on my blog ‘stuff’, a virtual life laundry if you will. I reduced my Twits-ville feed to just the one at a time, and deleted the calendar, but then I went and added two Word Press badges…..not Freshly Pressed ones I’m afraid to say….and a flag counter, oh and a blog roll that displays up to fifty gravatars of the bloggers I follow, even though I also have a page devoted to my favourite bloggers already. So I’m right back where I started, not so much breaking even, as breaking the limits of my page space and my visitors retinal capacity.
This morning, whilst trawling through forums to try and discover why my estimated 0.004 cents of WordAds revenue for October isn’t displayed yet, I came across a live feed of global WordPress activity, and being the stats freak that I am, I was literally like a moth to a flame with this big old interactive heap of stuff:
If I could fit this in my sidebar I’d do it, right now.
It’s addictive, trust me. Someone somewhere in the world at any given time is posting, commenting or just plain old ‘can’t be bothered to actually read this so will just press something on the reader feed to make it look like I’ve been a bona fide visitor and maybe I’ll pick up some hits myself from the effort of’ liking. That right there folks is a classic example of poor, and overly long sentence construction and a guarantee that this post will not attract a much coveted Freshly Pressed badge to add to my clutter.
My ‘About’ page is also starting to look like some mad cat ladies guest room, and is filling up with all manner of information that I have convinced myself is necessary to keep in one place, just in case its needed, because you never know right? This is a classic symptom of hoarding; I find it hard to throw any of this stuff away.
But rest assured fellow bloggers, I have a pretty tidy and uncluttered house: Because I hoard stuff on my blog instead.
(Apart from the garage which is the Big Fella’s domain and littered with 3,000 cans of paint, wood stain, and yacht varnish in various states of deterioration and emptiness. And we don’t even own a yacht. He needs a blog instead).