(But sometimes I find I’ve been beaten to it)

Crowds are usually what I most want to escape from, so a long and almost empty pier can be very inviting:

(And I haven’t felt the need to jump off the end yet)

If all else fails, I hole up somewhere quiet and escape into my writing:

(Because my mind is usually the one place I can escape to where most people wouldn’t think to look).

Alas though, we’ve been here before with the boat plan, several times actually since arriving in Australia, and there is always at least one stumbling block that puts us off. The last time we got anywhere close to starting the ‘boat fund’ we instead sold our house and moved up to a larger more expensive one leaving nothing in the budget for hobby toys. We still walk down to our local café in the marina most weekends and gaze longingly at all manner of watercraft pootling off for a day on the water, chatting wistfully about peace, quiet, bobbing about, and a life on the ocean wave and all that.  So with the motivation of wanting to downsize to a smaller house and the possibility of releasing the funds that are tied up in equity, the boat ‘issue’ has bobbed right back up in front of our faces again.

My daughter and her husband have a little tinny and go out fishing regularly, but we need something a bit more substantial, something that will accommodate not only the big fella, and God help us, The Wonder Dog Domino (who can’t swim), but also my allegedly excessive demands.  It needs to be big enough to sleep on so we can spend weekends on it, yet small enough to not need an expensive marina berth. It’s proving trickier to please us both than it should do and just holds up plans till they gather dust and get forgotten about.

Jessica Watson sailed this little boat around the world, but to be fair, she is teeny tiny, and it was single-handed.

Please Note: The Big Fella has vetoed sails, and more outrageously unfairly, the colour pink.

Like everything else in life, me and the Big Fella often think we are on the same page only to find that we are actually at opposite ends of the entire book.  Here is an excerpt, pretty much word for word, of a typical “boat decision” conversation in our house:

BF: “Well we agree we want a boat, yeah?”

Me: “Affirmative”

BF: “And it has to be a motor boat because tic tacking, running up rigging, ducking under jibs and the like is not really our cup of tea, unless someone else is doing the work, right?”

Me: “Correct”

BF: “Ok, so we want power, covers for if it rains, and a little compact galley arrangement for cuppas and sanga preparation?”

Me: “Hell yes, just because I’m on the water doesn’t mean I always want to be wet…..or hungry.”

BF: “So, under 30 foot so we can trail it and keep at home, outboard motor if poss? how about this one?”

Me: “Why isn’t there a photo of the toilet facilities? Are they ashamed of them?”

BF: “You know that some of these boats will only have a porta potty type affair don’t you”

Me: “No, I did not know that, please explain”

BF” “It’s a bit like caravanning, but on water, and with less space.  See, toilet facilities are usually like this one, under that section”

Insert very long pause here………

Me: “…..but that’s the sleeping bit as well, my head will be there, right there alongside it.  Are you seriously telling me that I could wake up in the night to find you shitting right next to my head?”

BF: “………well I’d wait obviously”

Me: “For what?! For me to turn discreetly the other way and pretend I haven’t noticed,  or to go back to sleep again?? Because you know I wouldn’t be able to get asleep again don’t you? Think of the nightmares.  I know we’ve been married a long, long time and all that, but waking up to a man-gorilla and his zoo-like emanations at eye, nose and ear level is completely out of the question, I mean could you sleep through it? I doubt even the rhino herd could.  I’m sorry, that is absolutely out of the question, I’m putting my foot down about those sorts of toilet arrangements right now”

BF: “I could go over the side…..ok no, bad idea, well I’d have to hang on till we were moored up near some public toilets”

Me: “Begging your pardon? YOU can do that?

BF: “Well not indefinitely, I couldn’t hang on all weekend for instance”

Me: “Hang on to the rail or to the poop? Look, lets agree that this boat has to have something that resembles a toilet that is behind a door at least, not a curtain, under a bunk bed or in some nightmarish Jack in the Box table/potty combo. I’m poo pooing that poo receptacle.”

You can see where my priorities lie, never mind whether there are life jackets, GPS or emergency flares etc (but with the big fella on board that porta potty situation does warrant them), I understand that a trail-able boat only has so much room, I get it, but uncivilised toilet arrangements are not my idea of recreational weekend fun, so there’s only one thing for it -

We’re going to need a bigger boat.

Fifteen months ago I stopped eating animal and poultry meat.  So far, so good.  I’ve had a few teeny tiny bits of bacon in a quiche, an accidental consumption of some chicken in what I thought was a vegetarian rice roll, and two, crust-less and dolls-house-sized, ham sandwiches at High Tea……even I can’t survive on cake alone.

Apart from the fantastic, but as yet scientifically unprovable discovery, that I can consume more alcohol without getting a hangover being a non-meat eater, the only noticeable change is that I sometimes have fried food and salt cravings.  As I still eat fish and seafood its not really a big deal, but when you’re also trying to eat a bit healthier then it’s not exactly ‘clean’ or ‘pure’.

So, I present to you my first home-made “vegan-depends-on”,  or “what I happen to have in the fridge this week”, recipe!

Raw, soaked and boiled, chickpeas (because I have yet to find tinned ones that don’t make me gag)

Quarter of a red onion (so visually I can pretend there is some bacon in there and pat myself on the back because no actual pigs were harmed in the making of my lunch)

Steamed veggies of choice (I have a peculiar craving for Xmas veg at the moment because the weather is getting colder – so Brussell Sprouts and Cauliflower it is)

Home made pesto (I substitute pine nuts for blanched almonds in mine)

A squidge of Olive Oil to fry it all in (and the oil can be as unsullied or slutty as you want, EVOO may just be a wee bit too pretentious for this recipe though)

Gourmet Salt (and having slagged of EVOO I then go for some pretentious condiment to season with, but you can throw in any common table muck that is hanging around)

Sometimes a bit of ‘spesh’ does lift the everyday experience into something of a treat, and this salt, though expensive, has lasted me ages.  We found it at the Marina Mirage Farmers Market, and my particular favourite is the native variety that has lemon myrtle and macadamia nut because it goes with anything, veggies, cheeses, fish, and even steak and chicken for the meat eaters in the house.  You can order Tridosha Gourmet Salt online from Byron Bay, the Yoga capital of the world, Namaste with your lunch, what could be better?!

I might not be the perfect ‘clean eater’ yet, but I’m definitely getting ‘clean-er’.

Filed under: Australia, Brussel Sprouts, Health, Recipies, Uncategorized, Vegan Food, Yoga Tagged: Lemon Myrtle, Macadamia, Vegan Food ]]> http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/2013/05/10/not-quite-clean-and-pure-but-definately-clean-er/feed/ 6 wordswithnannaprawn Fried Vegan http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/2013/05/09/a-day-of-cliches/ http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/2013/05/09/a-day-of-cliches/#comments Wed, 08 May 2013 23:39:00 +0000 wordswithnannaprawn http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/?p=1181 ]]> I have the best of both worlds; the world of intellectual stimulation at Uni, and quite often (yes really) on WordPress, and the silly fun stuff I chitty chat about at home, and when I’m out and about with friends and family. Me and my children share a particular brand of silly and innateness that leaves us for the best part, jumping for joy and hoping some of it will rub off onto other people, because life is sometimes way too serious.

Word play and the nonsensical seems to run in my family, and I usually enjoy playing around with words and getting a lot of enjoyement out of throwing the odd made up one into conversation to see how people react, or to extend the limits of linguistics and reason with my poetry. Having said that though, yesterday on campus, whilst minding my own business and tucking peacefully into an Anzac biscuit and a decent take out brew, I overheard such an irritating cliché that I was plagued for the rest of the day with inane, clichéd lines that my brain worked overtime on to form pithy and facetious retorts.  I really couldn’t help myself, and I doubt anyone else could.

The first one was the trigger:

At the end of the day – “It will be night time” or if you’ve been watching too much Les Mis “you’ll be another day older”

When all is said and done - “There will be nothing left to say or do so you can shut up now”

It’s like I always say - “So don’t say it then, likelihood is we’ve all heard it enough times to have it committed to memory”

 It’s like, how long is a piece of string? -“Well go and get me one and I’ll let you know if its long enough to throttle you with”

Well you know what thought did - “You don’t seriously want me to respond to that one do you?  I mean where to even begin?”

Well I’ll go to the bottom of our stairs - “Please do, and stay there until I can bear to be in the presence of your parochial, and hyperbolic Yorkshire exclamations for more than five minutes at a time”

I’m over it but I really would like sometimes, just for a change, to be under it, around it or through it.  It was enough to have me running for the hills and literally tearing my own hair out, or at the very least, chewing the bit.

I present to you one beautiful bride, and declare my bias straight away because she is my daughter.

After all the planning, the logistics of getting a wedding party, dresses, table decs, luggage, travel cot and pram, boxes of cakes, those bloody DIY lollipop bouquets, and the geriatric rellies, from BrisVegas to Townsville, and then across to Magnetic Island, the day itself was perfect.  Fun, exciting, beautiful and full of lots of love and happiness, and we want to thank all the people on the side lines who made it all so special for us all, because I sometimes find, that boring as Oscar speeches can be, not enough people say thank you anymore.

First up – The award for Costume Drama goes to:

Thank you, Eileen Kirby, the Australian designer who made the dress, the staff of Pink Mint at Chermside, and their amazing alteration seamstress who took just enough up at the front to accommodate Amie’s shoes and the potential tripping hazard when walking along the pontoons/getting on and off a boat!

It’s sensational isn’t it? She really was a princess.

For Hair and Makeup:

Thank you to the Napoleon Perdis staff at Chermside for teaching Amie to be her own makeup artist! And Linda and the girls at Katrina’s Beauty Works, Victoria Point for mine and Amie’s manicures before we set off (they lasted a long, long time after the wedding), and Orly Australia for creating the perfect Tiffany Blue polish for the bridesmaids (Gumdrop)!

Thanks Jill Cox, one of the first friends we made when we arrived in Australia over seven years ago.  As a hairdresser and a wedding guest she proved indispensable, plus she knew exactly what the Smother of the Bride (me) needed……mainly in the form of take away Champagne Cocktails from the resort bar.  Really good friends always know instinctively what you need don’t you think?

Transportation:

Thank you to the Virgin Airline crew and passengers on the flight up for the round of applause for the wedding couple, and Virgin admin when we got home again for refunding the $40 excess baggage fee and giving us an extra $10 for the delay in boarding and not then having time to get milk for the baby on the return flight. As for the obnoxious Townsville Virgin check in staff who caused such a shemozzle at the end of such a wonderful experience with their rudeness, inflexibility and jobs-worth attitudes, well, you too can get a mention.  Yes, actually, since you insisted on asking, we were sure that we’d flown with Virgin a mere six days before hand, and yes we were sure that we had exactly the same amount of luggage, packed exactly the same way (and incidentally, weighing less because there were no longer any lollipop bouquets in it on the way back), and actually, despite your insistence that we “wouldn’t get a refund even if we did complain to Virgin”, we did (see above), and, this one is just priceless, apparently “Brisbane aren’t doing it right if they didn’t charge you on the way out, we are actually following the rules”.  Well, bully for you, and wow, little old Townsville airport staff are in the right and Brisbane, (which incidentally has just come out as the number one airport in the entire country), are doing it ‘wrong’.  No, I think you’ll find that Brisbane are absolutely wonderful and had the common sense to take into account that I had no suitcase, and neither did my Mother-in-Law, and my allowance was in a shared case with the Big Fella, and the babies case wasn’t exactly huge.

I don’t take up much room honest!

She gave us the option of taking 4 kilos out (of what I don’t know) and spreading it, (God knows where when we were already limited with options and had packed the same stuff in the same cases as we’d left with), to other luggage.  We had three elderly passengers with us, were also juggling a travel cot and a pushchair that still had to get checked in at the other end of the airport, and a hungry one year old.  Thanks, thanks a lot, you were the most un-Australian Australians that I’ve ever met, and apparently gave the newly-weds the same crappy experience at their check in for the flight back as well.  But, lets finish this little saga with a well-deserved and sincere thank you to the Brisbane Airport café staff who filled Kai’s bottle with milk  for free when we got home, nice to know humanity abounds in such a huge and busy international airport that cope with a queue of ten people in less than 40 minutes (take note Townsville).

Champagne Cocktails Ahoy Darlings!!

Location Crew:

Thank you Peppers Blue on Blue Resort and staff – The wonderful Jacquie who made sure that arrangements were all in place and seamless even though everything had to be organised by e-mail and phone before we got there and her partner gave Amie a lift from her apartment up the hill so that she didn’t have to totter down to the boat and have everyone see her before the ceremony. .  It was a leap of faith because we couldn’t really find any reviews of weddings held there and had no way of visiting the resort first to check it out.  Nelly Bay was a fantastic location to just hop off the ferry and walk over to our accommodation, and as a base to explore the island from afterwards.  Catering was fabulous at the reception and the wonderful Brenda worked so hard to look after our fairly rowdy wedding party at the evening do, and thankyou to the bar staff for keeping the cocktails flowing.

Entertainment:

Many thanks to the owner and crew of the Providence sailing ship, it was a dream boat in every sense of the word and we can’t think of a better way that our daughter could have arrived for her wedding on the marina deck.  Out of sheer good luck we discovered our apartment looked right out on the marina she sailed out from and I watched from the balcony as I got her baby son dressed and ready for the ceremony.   Both her and her Dad, the bridesmaids and her friends who took photos for us, had a wonderful time and she seemed incredibly relaxed on arrival (though that could of course have been the champers?!)  We were all so jealous of Amie’s trip that we booked the Sunset Cruise a few nights later and Lindsay (the owner) went out and bought Kai a life jacket so he could go with us.    It was a magical family evening with the newlyweds.

The Celebrant:

Thank you Lynda Ross.  Like everyone else at the location, the celebrant had never actually met the bride and groom, but this consummate professional, like everyone else up there, went above and beyond our expectations.  She picked up the cake boxes in Townsville and met us at the airport with them, and also made a little certificate for Kai to give his Mum and Dad marking their union and gave him a teddy so that the day was about him as well.  She is a beautiful person who clearly does this because she loves it and not just because it’s a job.  We can’t thank you enough Linda.

Catering:

I’ve been asking Amie for the name of the cake maker for weeks, but thanks to Lynda Ross I now have the details and Janines Cake Art is no longer the anonymous recipient! Janine, we’d like to publically thank you.  My God, those red velvet cupcakes were magnificent, and as you can see it was stunning to look at and survived the ferry trip over to the island!  I can confirm that they were still as good for several breakfasts, days later, when we were eating up the left overs!!

Particularly enjoyed by the brides ‘little’ brother……

Location, location, location:

Thankyou Magnetic Island (or Maggie now we know you better), you were fabulous!  From the bus drivers to the IGA staff, and the island kids on their way to school, it was a very friendly and laid back location, and we loved it.  We all had a wonderful holiday there, there are twenty gorgeous and deserted bays and beaches, fantastic bars at both Picnic Bay and Horseshoe Bay and the ‘young folks’ particularly enjoyed the Full Moon party the night before the wedding!  The views were stunning (especially when we realised that the Rainbow Warrior was moored just off Nelly Bay) and the Rock Wallabies delightful.  I really didn’t want to leave, and we’ll definitely be back for another holiday!

Picnic Bay

Best Boy/s

Thank you to my nephew Luke who managed to not drop the ring through the decking, thank you to my own boy Ryan for heroically holding two broken wires together to play the wedding music for the arrival of the bride, and thankyou to our little Grandson Kai for being such a well behaved little bobbie dazzler.

Same, same but different – My best work xx

Hangers On:

This award was indisputable.  Thank you Candice and Nicole Benn for sharing the day with us and taking all the photos that we couldn’t, and for being such great friends to Amie.

Supporting Actors and Actresses:

And last but not least, the crazy ladies who were the bridesmaids; Kris, Natasha and Kirsty, you looked beautiful.  Thank you to the rellies who travelled the 11,000 miles from the UK to be there, and everyone else who attended.  We couldn’t have wished for a better day that not only suited the personalities of the couple themselves, but was filled with so much happiness, love and laughter, and you all made that possible.

Even though some of you were so easily distracted by a stingray in the marina….

So let’s raise our glasses one more time, to thank you all and toast the happy couple, cheers!!!

Because Nothings Real Without It…..Take it away Rebecca!! xxxx

Where’s tha been lass? Well I have not been on Ilkley Moor Baht’at you’ll be glad to know. Confused? Well, you should be, welcome to my world, it’s currently made of lollipops.

My wonderful daughter decided she would like a lollipop bouquet for her wedding instead of flowers.  I searched high and low on the internet and found a place online who made them but they needed a ridiculous amount of notice, and we never long term plan anything in our family, so we thought to ourselves “well it can’t be that hard can it?”

Three things I’ve discovered whilst trying to make a lollipop bouquet (and three mini ones for the bridesmaids):

• Taking the wrappers off was a huge and sticky mistake that could only be salvaged with Glad Wrap
• Lollipop bouquets should not be attempted whilst a little drunken (even if you do convince yourself it will help with the design process, because what you actually end up with is a candy version of whatever it is The Statue of Liberty holds aloft in her gigantic hand)
• I never want to make lollipop bouquets ever, again. EVER.

As it turns out, a world made of candy has been a bit too sweet and sickly, and not at all as much fun as Willy Wonka would have you believe.

I’m just hoping we don’t have to take anyone to casualty if she throws it over her shoulder at the reception.

You’re welcome everyone

Still, it could be worse, I could be washing feet for instance….

I’m liking this new Pope very much indeed right now, very much.

(Photo provided by the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano)

Now isn’t that THE most glorious image for reminding us all about simplifying life? As an atheist I take the humanity from this image and think only of love on equal terms for all…..

Marriage Equality

Love is nothing to be scare of so spread it as far and as wide as you possibly can. And when life gets hectic go to bed early, get up even earlier and see the world at it’s very best with those you love…..

5 am sunrise on the Bay

Wake up and see the world come alive

Domino The Wonder Dog and The Big Fella xx

So take the time to stop and look, enjoy some cake now Lent is nearly over, wash some feet (even if they are only your own), and simplify your life for a few precious moments.

Happy Easter Everyone

Love from Nanna Prawn xx

Now what do we make of this? My new Italian cooker arrived this week and there is a pouting Italian man on the front cover of the operating manual.  It’s a look I’ve seen before from the Playboy era, but they had fluffy pom pom tails and rabbit ears to go with it……and were (we have always been led to believe) exclusively of the female variety.  It’s curious don’t you think? Are they making the assumption that only women and gay men will be cooking with this provocative image to guide them?  I use the term provocative loosely because I still can’t decide whether he’s been baking a chocolate cake or had a plumbing emergency and you can bet your life I’d still be lumbered with washing that shirt whichever it was.  The answer though would definitely make my mind up about whether I would actually want to get my own unmarked hands on one of these, ‘operators’, free with my purchase.  It was a very expensive cooker after all.  Until then, lets revel in this fabulous send up of the Perfect Italian Man, because lets face it, no one but a narcissist could look THIS delicious!!

Filed under: Chocolate, General, Women Tagged: Baking and Confections, Cake, Chocolate, Chocolate cake, Cooking, Home, Italian cuisine, Italy, Perfect Italian Man ]]> http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/2013/03/23/in-search-of-the-perfect-italian-man-to-cook-for-me/feed/ 4 wordswithnannaprawn Italian Man http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/2013/03/21/exactly-how-far-and-how-much-is-this-beyond/ http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/2013/03/21/exactly-how-far-and-how-much-is-this-beyond/#comments Thu, 21 Mar 2013 04:53:35 +0000 wordswithnannaprawn http://wordswithnannaprawn.com/?p=1035 ]]> A word used in a contemporary and bewildering context:

I’m beyond talking about this,

I’m beyond tired,

This is beyond cool,

It’s beyond rad,

He’s beyond stupid,

They are beyond busy,

She’s beyond fit,

I’m beyond over it,

It’s beyond, beyond.

So where exactly is this beyond, and how do we go any further? It makes a change from really, very, or like, but does it mean we’ve reached the limit of quantity when qualifying our sentences now?

To Infinity And Beyond!!!

I’m feeling very Zen with my new Blissful Blog Theme.  That  old theme was definitely getting Choco Blocko with stuff and feeling dark and oppressive, so I’m trying out this lighter brighter theme which leaves more room for my posts and contains all the detailed info in one place. Even my photo of North Stradbroke Island at sunset looks more at home.

It doesn’t really matter what you wear (which is a good job when you see what these two had on)

Just as long as you are there…..

So let’s celebrate!