I say dear, but honestly, you are not dear to me anymore. I’m using this term of endearment out of habit more than anything. Since we hooked up,….nine…months…3 days…and 8 hours ago, my life has been turned upside down. You’ve given me nagging doubts, low self-esteem, stopped me from hanging out with my girlfriends, and exhausted me with your incessant demands. I’ve stopped enjoying the things I used to love before I met you and my doctor informs me that you’ve also given me a ganglion cyst. I have lost weight through stress and stopped looking after myself properly, and yet you hardly seem to have noticed the damage you’ve caused. I want to hate you right now, but I if I’m honest there were times when I didn’t behave that well towards you either. I didn’t always give you the attention you deserved or treat you with respect, and yes, I badmouthed you behind your back. I just can’t cope anymore with your clinginess, it’s suffocating. You’re crowding me with your insistence on public displays of affection and unhealthy cravings for attention. Why do you always have to embarrass me in social situations? Frankly, all those long, long nights together weren’t worth it. I just can’t do this anymore, all the fighting, breaking up and getting back together and trying to make it work…….we’re just not good for each other, and one of us has to put an end to it before we destroy each other.
So sincerely and emphatically, I want you to know……repeatedly,
We-ee Are Never, Ever, Ever – Getting Back Together!!
This post is in lieu of forgetting to do an acknowledgement page in my thesis and is especially dedicated to the English Cohort; Ann, Trinh, Tess, Elizabeth, Naomi, Sally, Jean, and Zoe My amazing Honours Mentor, Rosemary (I will always remember sitting on the floor of UQ library with all the journals you found for me!)The Jay-Jays who have been my partners in crime since year two at Uni, The Hubster and the fam, and all the people who love, support me and help me keep my shit together,
And last but not least, Kate Kollar PhD, for making me do all this in the first place, and for always believing me…….